Episkey
by ThunderThighs
Summary: When Ollie Thurkell transfers to Hogwarts from Woodsborough in fifth year after a rather nasty fight, she decides to stay out of trouble and pass her Ordinary Wizarding Levels. But this proves quite difficult when one of your best friends is the boy who lived and you're second in command to Dumbledore's army. Rated T for violence and swearing. I Don't own HP.
1. Chapter 1

When you're a wizard, there is no need for muggle-style fighting. The punch ups, gunfights and all-out battles with swords and maces and other types of medieval weaponry were not necessary when you had a wand and a functional voice-box. When you're a muggle, you learn to live without. And that's exactly what I did.

For the first eleven years of my live, I believed I was one of the non-magic folk. Of course, I didn't believe in magic. I was always a no-nonsense sort of person and I had no room for religions and superstitions in my life. So I learned how to fight.

It was always me who was brought into Mrs Sweeny's office when a fight broke out in school, as I was the one, more often than not, who started it. As you can imagine, this brought a great deal of stress on my parents. Good, hard working, working class British people. All they wanted was a strong, reliable child to help out with the house work and the gardening. Double points if it was a boy. Instead they got a rebellious, sarcastic punk of a child. And I was a girl. Of course, they still loved me, and I was grateful for that.

They day I got a letter from Hogwarts I came home to find both of my parents sitting at the old busted up coffee table with stern looks on their faces. Stern looks directed at me. "Now sweetheart, you may need to sit down for this, this may be a shock-" Said my father, being cut off by my much more vocal and agressive mother.

"You're a wizard Ollie." My eyes went wide.

"Wizards don't exist." I said stubbornly, refusing to believe what my parents had just said. My parents just frowned and handed me the letter.

"Now, you won't necessarily be _going _to this school. I have looked into it, and there is another academy called Durmstrang, and that's somewhere in scandanavia... But they apparently don't admit those with one or more non-magic parent. We're gonna have to give that one a miss 'eh? And there's also Beaxbatons! Oh, a lovely girls school, all ladies there! And the uniforms are very elegant Ollie..." I stopped listening as dad continued to drone on and on about the other schools in Europe, and one in Australia that he said would 'Spark my interest'.

"It's so far away, Australia though. And I heard the pupils are awful rough." I still couldn't respond, through the shock of it all. _I was a wizard. _So weird.

"I want to go to the one in Australia." I said. My parents looked shocked.

"Alright, I'll have to send them a letter then. Go up to your room and do whatever you do up there and I'll call you when dinner's ready." Mum said.

* * *

The next day I was greeted by a letter adressed to me in the post. "Mum, did you send the letter yet?" I asked.

"No not yet." She replied. That's weird, the letter was from Woodsborough Institute for Witches and Wizards. Inside was the list of all the things I needed, and I could get the uniform when I arrived.

I had since learned that my mother was a witch. Why she hadn't told me all these years was beyond me. And anyway, there were more pressing matters at hand. Matters like actually finding money to pay for all the stuff I needed.

Mum assured me that there was a small fortune in my name at Gringotts bank and that I would probably be able to do most of the shopping on my own. I never thought to ask why, in the human world, we were struggling. When in the wizarding world we would have been more than comfortable.

The way to Diagon alley was very curious. My mother beckoned me to the fire place, with a pot of powdery stuff in her hands. "Now, take a pinch of this, stand in the fireplace and shout 'Diagon Alley', make sure to say it clearly as well, don't want to end up in the wrong place do we?"

My mother seemed to be nicer to me since she found out I was a witch. That's not to say that she was a mean old hag before, of course not. But she seemed happier and more upbeat as she talked quickly and excitedly about how great the years to come were going to be.

We arrived at Diagon Alley at exactly nine fifty-three, and I was shocked to find it full of odd looking people. "Mum! I didn't think that they would look so weird..." My mother just shushed me and pulled me towards a store called 'Ollivaders'. It seemed like quite an ordinary store from the outside, but inside, thin rectangular boxes lined the walls and shelves towards the back of the store. I rudely strolled up to the desk at the front and rang the bell. "Excuse me!" I yelled.

Out of no-where an old, thin man walked in. "Hello!" He said cheerily at my mother. "Beatrice, It's been so long."

"It has." My mother replied, smiling.

"I remember when your mother was here buying her first wand." Boasted the man. "One of the finest witches of her age she was! And I'll expect you to be the same." He said, eyeing me.

"She's not going to Hogwarts, I'm afraid. She's going to Western Australia." Said my mother. The man looked shocked. He looked as if to say something but my mother cut him off before he could begin. "I _know_ Garrick. And she wants to go to Woodsborough anyway. I don't think Hogwarts is ready for a girl like her quite yet." My mother laughed. I scowled and looked up at the man through my hair with a glare.

He winced and cleared his throat. "Well, let's find you a wand then shall we? So... If you're anything like your mother..." He trailed off as he searched the walls for a wand. "Aha!" He cried, "Perfect!" He set the box down on the table, removed the lid and took the wand out. "Eleven inches, elm, unicorn hair." He exclaimed proudly.

I too the wand cautiously in my hands. "Wave it around a bit." My mother encouraged. I waved the wand at a random shelf in the shop and boxes scattered all over the floor and one hit me in the leg. "Hey, at least she's got the technique down!" My mother cried.

The man known as 'Garrick' took out another box. "This one." He said hopefully. When I took hold of the wand I felt a current of electricity run through me. Garrick and my mother noticed this and smiled. I waved the wand at the boxes, this time, they cleaned themselves up. "Ten and a half inches, cherry, dragon heartstring. Perfect."

After a good ten minutes of 'catching up' my mother and I were finally out of that godforsaken store and back into the streets of Diagon alley. "You have your books?" Mum asked after we had finished shopping.

"Yup." I replied boredly, stroking the cat I bought with my own money.

"For god's sake Ollie, put that cat back in It's cage."

"His _name _is Alberic, thankyou." I threw back as I stuffed him back into his carrier. My mother just huffed and started walking a little quicker.

* * *

"Okay, now dear, I expect you to be on your best behaviour in Australia. No fights. No pregnancy. No hexing the innocent. Got it?"

"Yes mum, I'm _definitely _going to get pregnant at eleven" I said a little bit louder than necessary. We were sitting at an ice cream shop in Diagon alley, I had a mega chocolate ice cream sherbet explosion, while my mother was content with a small mango sorbet. After my outburst, a huge man with a tangled beard and a scrawny kid about my age with dark hair and John Lennon glasses looked at us strangely.

"Blimey, It's Harry Potter!" My mum yelled.

"Harry Potter? Who's that?" I asked confused. The boy just blushed and the man chuckled.

"Beatrice!" He cried.

"Rubeus!" She yelled back. The ran towards each other and slow-motion embraced. Me and Harry pretended to be sick, and then laughed at the exact same time. After being weirded out by constantly acting in unison, my mum ushered me away.

"I'd really love to catch up Hagrid, but we have to go. Send me an owl will 'ya!"

* * *

"Now, read. I want you among the highest in your class." My dad said as he slammed the books down on the kitchen table. "I only ask you to retain _some _of the information Ollie, _please." _I scowled and opened a random book on herbology. I found it extremely interesting.

Over the next few weeks, I sought out more and more Herbology books. I would be excelling in sixth year Herbology if I was in that year. My parents knew nothing of my amazing knowledge in Herbology, and just thought I was reading a lot about all sorts of subjects.

The days went by slowly and painfully. The fact that I was an actual witch was burning into the back of my brain. All my life I though magic didn't exist, and now I'm supposed to take it normally? No thanks.

* * *

My school days in Woodsborough were... Eventful.

I seriously doubted any wizarding school could be any smaller than the one in Australia. The school housed one hundred and sixty seven people. It was the same as any muggle boarding school in a way. It wasn't a castle, just blocks of buildings. Boring, brown bricks, piled on top of each other. I guessed that it was quite brilliant actually, no one would ever think that it was a school for those who studied magic.

Muggles would never find it anyway.

Kilometres and kilometres away from anything inhabitable. It was awfully dry, and hot, during the warmer seasons. Winter was just unbearable, and summer was like living in an oven.

Luckily, the uniforms were decent. A plaid skirt and a singlet top for girls. Boys got it way harsher, what with it being socially unacceptable to wear girls clothes and such.

I did get into fights as well.

Marie-Housetin-Fresdley. Also known as my worst enemy. Yes, we may have gotten into a fight or two, but that didn't really warrant my expulsion.

Yes, I might have turned her into a pig at some point, but hey. The teachers should have been impressed. I did a fucking awesome job. Any way, it was on one of those days in fifth fourth year. The type where you hate everyone and everything and you find yourself really wanting to take out your anger on a brick wall? Well, I took out my PMS anger on Marie.

She was in the main playground area, How dare she be. Her hair was a stark contrast to mine. Short blonde and choppy. While mine was down past my waist, worn in a plait and dark brown. _How dare she think she has the right skin to bleach her hair that light. _

She walked up to me, the way she walked irked me. Her back straight, damn her and her good posture and the fact that she walked gracefully, and didn't waddle like I did, due to the fact that I had weak ankles and constant sore feet. "Nice hair," She said. "Be a shame if something... Happened to it?" She grinned cruelly as she took out her wand, mumbled a few incoherent words and managed to cut a foot of my hair clean off.

This was about the point when I lost it.

I pounced, slamming her to the ground and punching her in the mouth twice. I ripped a chunk of hair from her scalp and threw it aside, kneeing her repeatedly in the groin. So _maybe _I was used to fighting boys. It still hurt, and that was my objective. Marie was one of those witches that was completely dependent on magic to harm others, she was skinny and weak, while I was Woodsborough's greatest blind-side Beater to date. I bit her on the face, and this, my dear, sweet little children, was where it got too far.

Professor Collywool had to forcibly restrain me, as I writhed around in her grip. I had a bit of blood on me but I was unharmed. Yay.

~0O0~

"Now Olivia," I winced at the name. "You do know, that we do not allow such... awful behaviour at our school." The headmaster droned.  
"For that reason, I must expell you."

"What!" I yelled, slamming my hands on the table. "You were told of what she did? Right? Jesus!"

"We were not told of any faults of Miss Fresdley, now I expect you to go back to your dorm and clean up your things. Say your good byes if you please." I didn't wait for him to dismiss me, I shot up from the brown leather chair and almost ran out of the building towards the fifth year girls dorms.

I burst through the door. Classes had just finshed, so everyone would either be at quiddich practice or in their dorms. "Ollie!" Said my friend Cassidy, who was short, skinny and freckly. "I heard about what happened with Marie are you-"

"Yes, I've been expelled." I cut her off. She looked up at me shocked. I just shrugged her off and packed up all of my things and but them into my aztec patterned suitcase. "Bye." I said

"Send me an owl!" She yelled as I apparated to England.

* * *

My mum and dad were waiting in the kitchen. "How dare you!" My mothers screams echoed the house. "I pay good money to give you all the things you need for that damn school, and you go and get yourself expelled!" I flinched and looked at my dad, who stood quietly by the stove, wringing his hands and wishing for this to be over.

I said nothing. I just waited for my mother to finish and walked back up into my room. What she didn't realise was that I didn't want myself up to be expelled, and I'd been beating myself up for it for the past few days. After and hour or two (I wasn't sure, I didn't look at the clock) My dad came in told me that I was going to Hogwarts and I'd be leaving soon.

**So! First chapter, hope you enjoyed. Be expecting more.**


	2. Chapter 2

I am not a Metamorphagus, not an Animangus, I'm not a pure blood, not muggle born, I don't have any special powers, I can't speak parseltounge, or any strange aboriginal languages. I am absolutely normal. So normal I am strange.

Don't think I didn't do my reading on Hogwarts before I showed up on the platform. Dizzy and confused from passing through that brick wall. I did, and I knew that This was were the very special Harry Potter went. I was in the lounge room, I was all packed, but I wasn't sure why I had to be packed and ready this early. It was two weeks until school started after all. "Who are you writing to mum?" I asked, as she was hunched over the coffee table, with her quill in her hand and her lip in between her teeth.

"The Weasley's. You aren't staying here for the rest of the summer. I've had enough of you." I wasn't upset by my mothers words, as I had been hearing them for some time.

"The weasley's? Who are they?" "Old friends." She said simply, obviously wanting to be done with the conversation. She hadn't quite gotten over the whole 'getting expelled' thing.

* * *

"Molly!"

"Beatrice!"

The two women embraced and the stocky red-headed woman turned to me. "Hello dear, It's lovely to meet you!" She said, egulfing me in a bone crushing hug. "Olivia, Isn't it?"

"Um, you can call me Ollie." I stuttered out, awkwardly removing myself from the embrace.

"Well come along then, we don't have all day. We're going to the headquarters."

"Headquarters?" I gasped. "Of what?"

"All will be explained girl." Mrs Weasly laughed. "We're travelling by the floo network, Right Beatrice?" My mother nodded and I stepped into the fireplace.

* * *

"Ron! Fred! George! Ginny! Hermione! Authur! Come meet Ollie!" Mrs Weasley shouted into the headquarters of the Order Of The Phoenix. At this, Five people around my age ran into the room we were in followed by a middle aged man whose hair matched Mrs Weasly's.

"Hermione Granger" Said a rather bossy-sounding girl and she held her hand out to me. I hesitantly shook it and mumbled my name in response.

"I'm Fred." Said a red haired boy who looked older than me.

"I'm George." Said a boy who looked exactly like him. I crossed one arm over the other and shook both of their hands at the same time, laughing. I was introduced to the rest of them and ushered into a kitchen and practically force fed Mrs. Weasly's home cooked biscuits (Which were Absolutely delicious.).

* * *

The remainder of the holiday was filled with laughter and joking. I was instantly befriended by the twins and we spent nearly all of our time together. Me and Ginny didn't talk much, but Ron and I made fast friends as well. Hermione wasn't too keen on me at first, but now I can proudly say that I can keep a decent conversation with her for longer than 5 minutes.

Quidditch practice was on most of our minds throughout the holiday. I was told of all of their positions, and they were interested to learn about my position as blind side beater. I intended to try out for the team of whatever house I got into. I was hoping for Gryffindor.

Almost every day Fred and George apparated us to a field to play. It would be quite risky to play in a place with so many muggles.

* * *

I soon met the rest of the order. I'd been only talking to the Weasly's and Hermione for so long that I had completely neglected introducing myself. I found myself also friends with Tonks, Who liked to pick on the English/Australian accent I'd picked up over the years. After she did this, she'd often be met my a scowl from Mrs Weasly, and a laugh from everyone else.

I was upstairs with Fred and George when The Boy Who Lived arrived. We were testing new Weasly products and I was laughing so hard my face was bright red. "Wait." Fred said, sticking up his pointer finger in an effort to silence my hysterical laughter.

"I hear Harry." George grinned.

"Harry? Whose that?" I asked, confused.

"Harry Potter!" George laughed.

"The boy who lived?" Fred questioned.

"Ringing any bells?" He asked.

"Oh! I've heard of him. Lightning bolt guy?" I asked.

"Precisely." Fred grinned. "Lets go, Grab onto me."

"We're apparating? Why?"

"To scare him of course!" George said. 

**Short chapter. bit crappy. will eventually get interesting. Promise.**


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